PSA:  Make sure your knife is securely clipped into your pants before pulling them up after taking a dump.

 

Fun is not disassembling and disinfecting your Spyderco Manix 2 after it popped loose from your pants while pulling them up and fell in the toilet after you took a giant shit.

 

 

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third shift blows.

Joined: 2/14/08 5:28 PM.         Location: NE Illinois

Original Post

^^^     "... make another one ..." 

 

.......................................................................................................

For those of you who believe history began when you were born, educate yourselves. ~ Pat Rogers

Adversity can shape and perfect us, and horrible adversity can make us champions. ~ Maskirovka

 

Joined: 26 Aug 2008           Location: The Libitard Center of Oregon

Note: If you see "edited" assume it was to adjust for fat-finger typing.

Originally Posted by generic_user_7:

If I found a Spyderco in the toilet after taking a crap, I would be sure to eat precisely the same foods that I'd eaten previously, just to see if I could make another one. You never know.

Those are usually Chinese steel.

---------------------------------

It's not that life is so short, it's that you're dead for so long.

The .45-70 is the only government I trust

"I was raised in a place called America...
It's gone now, I wish you could've seen it"
- a WWII vet

 

Joined: 1/30/06 3:34 PM - Location:MA

It was like in the movies where things go into slow motion:


Stand up from toilet, pulling pants up, knife slips loose and falls into the bowl, square in the middle of the poop.  My brain is screaming "Nooooooooooooooo" but the hind brain kicks in to remind my hands that we do not pick up falling weapons, especially when they are falling into the toilet.  Luckily, this happened at home.  I just finished bleaching all the parts and putting the knife back together.

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third shift blows.

Joined: 2/14/08 5:28 PM.         Location: NE Illinois

Don't you hate that it feels like you're suddenly in a time dilation field; it takes three days for the knife to fall gracelessly, tumbling end over end, into the toilet?

Me too.

Now just imagine if it were a gun. - And, you didn't have the home ice advantage; it happened instead, at Applebee's. (Hypothetically)

Endeavor to be emulable, not suck, persevere, and, imbue ostrobogulousness. 

You are lucky Sir. Go buy a lottery ticket ASAP!

 

The slow motion action could have continued as shit rebounded upward toward the heavens only to strike you in the eye like you were the canvas in an enema art show, caused by the hydraulic reverberations of water being pushed down and bouncing back up toward the surface from when the knife struck the floating mass (it was floating correct?). I have seen it happen all too closely, but only with a pair of sunglasses that slipped off my head when I turned around afterward to peer down and admire my work.

 

---------------------------------------------------------

...Can't carry a tune,

I don't know how to shoot a basketball

and my handwriting is barely legible,

but I don't miss.

 

You know I've been there when you hear...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pr3sBks5o_8

I lost a pair of Oakley sunglasses like that, I flushed as they fell. They actually went through the u-bend. I nearly cried.

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If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together    -    African proverb

 

Joined: 2003          Location: At home pretending to be retired (again).

Originally Posted by generic_user_7:

If I found a Spyderco in the toilet after taking a crap, I would be sure to eat precisely the same foods that I'd eaten previously, just to see if I could make another one. You never know.

If this doesn't turn into a Karma title, I'll be disapointed.

Originally Posted by Dan Easterday:

It was like in the movies where things go into slow motion:


Stand up from toilet, pulling pants up, knife slips loose and falls into the bowl, square in the middle of the poop.  My brain is screaming "Nooooooooooooooo" but the hind brain kicks in to remind my hands that we do not pick up falling weapons, especially when they are falling into the toilet.  Luckily, this happened at home.  I just finished bleaching all the parts and putting the knife back together.

Coulda been worse...I saw someone drop a cell phone in a port a john once.  Well, I didn't see him actually do it, but I did see him fishing it out.

Joined: 4/8/08            Location: PA

I found one of my replacements in Afghanistan washing his pistol and holster.  I asked why - apparently, they'd taken a bath in the port-potty.  When I asked if there where any witnesses, he said 'no'....  I think I would have kept that story to myself, in that case.

Originally Posted by geronimo:

I'd have flushed and headed to the store. Sometimes you just gotta let it go man. 

That is exactly what I did with my glasses. Except I figured to hell with it and didn't flush. Just to challenge the level of thriftyness of next person in there, and see if he would dig them out. I am sorry, short of a firearm if it goes in the toilet it is gone. If I could even bring myself to dig it out and clean it off in the back of my mind every time I used that knife to cut with or slipped those shades back on my face I would think of shit. That type of thing can traumatize a man. I mean really mess him up. I'll work some OT and buy myself another thank you.

 

---------------------------------------------------------

...Can't carry a tune,

I don't know how to shoot a basketball

and my handwriting is barely legible,

but I don't miss.

 

You know I've been there when you hear...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pr3sBks5o_8

Originally Posted by Dan Easterday:

It was like in the movies where things go into slow motion:


Stand up from toilet, pulling pants up, knife slips loose and falls into the bowl, square in the middle of the poop.  My brain is screaming "Nooooooooooooooo" but the hind brain kicks in to remind my hands that we do not pick up falling weapons, especially when they are falling into the toilet.  Luckily, this happened at home.  I just finished bleaching all the parts and putting the knife back together.

I think you had a Freudian Slip.

Knife falls into poo=poo knife...

 

Gorilla Wrangler and purveyor of Poo knives.

Location: in SE Idaho, the birthplace of television. 

Originally Posted by generic_user_7:

If I found a Spyderco in the toilet after taking a crap, I would be sure to eat precisely the same foods that I'd eaten previously, just to see if I could make another one. You never know.

 
God fucking dammit dude. You owe me a can of delicious Molson Canadian since I just spewed it everywhere.

 

 

 

 

Joined:      14 January 2010                Location:  MAINE

I had a classmate in medical school lose a pager like that.

 

He was working at the VA, and at the time, the VA had these ridiculously-strong Industrial-Flush (TM) toilets (I don't know what sort of eco-friendly limp-wristed crap they use now).  These toilets created enough suction that they would almost suck the hat off your head when you flushed.  

 

His pager fell off the end of his belt *just* as he flushed.  There was a moment of horror-and-slow-motion... and down it went.  The toilet digested that pager (one of the big alphanumeric jobbies) without so much as a hiccup.

 

We laughed about that one for weeks.  

 

 

“One sometimes gets the impression that the mere words ‘Socialism’ and ‘Communism’ draw towards them with magnetic force every fruit-juice drinker, nudist, sandal-wearer, sex-maniac, Quaker, ‘Nature Cure’ quack, pacifist, and feminist in England,”  -George Orwell-

Originally Posted by M. Wilson:
Originally Posted by Dan Easterday:

 

 

Gorilla Wrangler and purveyor of Poo knives.

 

I love this place.

 

---------------------------------------------------------

...Can't carry a tune,

I don't know how to shoot a basketball

and my handwriting is barely legible,

but I don't miss.

 

You know I've been there when you hear...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pr3sBks5o_8

I will gladly accept that title...

 

There is no way I am sacrificing a $90 knife just because it fell in the toilet; that is why god invented bleach.  I soaked all parts for 20 minutes, rinsed, soaked again, rinsed, and reassembled after detail cleaning each part.  This actually gave me a chance to Loctite the screws up, lube the pivot, and reset the blade to swing correctly.

 

I am modifying my TTPoo's from here on out to prevent such and occurrence again.

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third shift blows.

Joined: 2/14/08 5:28 PM.         Location: NE Illinois

Originally Posted by Dan Easterday:

I will gladly accept that title...

 

There is no way I am sacrificing a $90 knife just because it fell in the toilet; that is why god invented bleach.  I soaked all parts for 20 minutes, rinsed, soaked again, rinsed, and reassembled after detail cleaning each part.  This actually gave me a chance to Loctite the screws up, lube the pivot, and reset the blade to swing correctly.

 

I am modifying my TTPoo's from here on out to prevent such and occurrence again.

Having actually had to work on a shit pump in a shit plant before, I do not share your optimism for bleach's effectiveness in de-shitting a metal object. Pics or it didn't happen?

 

Descending down into SHIT PIT #1 

 

As SHIT PIT #2 was, well over flowing with SHIT!

 

 

SHIT Water bubbling and spraying out of SHIT PUMP #3

 

 

And SHIT SPRAY up the walls. This spray went at least 30 foot up the wall mind you..

 

 

So you can chest thump your SHITTY Karma Title all you want, but I have seen enough SHIT in my time to last 3 life times.

 

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...Can't carry a tune,

I don't know how to shoot a basketball

and my handwriting is barely legible,

but I don't miss.

 

You know I've been there when you hear...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pr3sBks5o_8

You obviously know your SHIT.  I am fairly confident in my cleaning process.  I mean, what's the worst that could happen?

 

<anxiously awaiting multiple responses with pictures and videos>

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third shift blows.

Joined: 2/14/08 5:28 PM.         Location: NE Illinois

Originally Posted by prestonoconnor:
I can see the swap meet now- one lightly used Spyderco for sale cheap. I guess it's all mental, if you don't mind. Reminds me when I had to replace all the porta potty seats at JSS tarmiyah. Talk about a Shitty job. I was really ready to spread the hate after that

Fuck that, I would have arranged for them all to burn down, or a Stryker to randomly mow them down...And I will not try to pawn the poopy knife off on anyone here.  It's all relative. My wife was a zookeeper, and they work with animal shit all the time.  The comparison could also be made to a pair of trauma sheers that have been used on a rather messy victim...  BTDT

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third shift blows.

Joined: 2/14/08 5:28 PM.         Location: NE Illinois

Originally Posted by Dan Easterday:
Originally Posted by prestonoconnor:
I can see the swap meet now- one lightly used Spyderco for sale cheap. I guess it's all mental, if you don't mind. Reminds me when I had to replace all the porta potty seats at JSS tarmiyah. Talk about a Shitty job. I was really ready to spread the hate after that

Fuck that, I would have arranged for them all to burn down, or a Stryker to randomly mow them down...And I will not try to pawn the poopy knife off on anyone here.  It's all relative. My wife was a zookeeper, and they work with animal shit all the time.  The comparison could also be made to a pair of trauma sheers that have been used on a rather messy victim...  BTDT

Well if you ever do put it up on the HESM and your ad reads something like...

 

"...this knife has been with me through tough times and good times. It has been there faithfully every time I ever needed it and never let me down. Yes, if any piece of Military or LE life saving gear has "been through the shit" by God it is this knife.... that said be careful you mind the clip, it has a tendency to snag on stuff at shitty times."

 

At least you will not be dishonest. 

 

---------------------------------------------------------

...Can't carry a tune,

I don't know how to shoot a basketball

and my handwriting is barely legible,

but I don't miss.

 

You know I've been there when you hear...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pr3sBks5o_8

Originally Posted by Dan Easterday:
 lube the pivot,

Glad to hear you took time out from cleaning the knife.

---------------------------------

It's not that life is so short, it's that you're dead for so long.

The .45-70 is the only government I trust

"I was raised in a place called America...
It's gone now, I wish you could've seen it"
- a WWII vet

 

Joined: 1/30/06 3:34 PM - Location:MA

Originally Posted by Malpaso:
Originally Posted by Dan Easterday:
 lube the pivot,

Glad to hear you took time out from cleaning the knife.

Everyone does it, I'm just not shy about it...

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third shift blows.

Joined: 2/14/08 5:28 PM.         Location: NE Illinois

I feel your pain, I once bathed my department issued cell phone in a Penn Station New York urinal. While simultaneously zippering my fly and flushing the toilet my Nextel dislodged from my duty belt and  plopped into a disgusting ocean of urine and skel juice. The scenario was further enhanced by the flushing water deflecting off the phone and onto the front of my pants. I spent the next half hour hiding behind garbage cans and in the train vestibules as a traveled back to the Dirty Jerz.     

Good call on not trying to catch it.  A guy that works for me had a Spyderco that fell when he was on the toilet.  The knife thankfully missed the toilet but did not miss his foot.  Unfortunately I'd just sharpened it for him a couple of days prior.  By sharpened I mean a micron belt then onto the paper wheel so it was as sharp or better than factory new.  The tip and edge performed as designed and sliced the heck out of his big toe. 

Another tip: don't wear pink socks if you decide to drop a knife through your toe. At least we all got a good laugh out of it once he quit bleeding.  (He claims the socks weren't really pink but a red shirt had snuck into the load of whites).I helped him clean up but made him apply pressure to his toe.  Of course my ability to deal with a very minor injury further solidified the beliefs that any Veteran is akin to Rambo .  "I stayed calm and acted".  Well yeah, it wasn't my foot that suddenly had 4 complete and 2 half toes.

Remember who you are.  -Dad

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