What does a cop who runs his department’s weapons training program and range need with a Viking sword? Because I watched a few episodes of Forged in Fire, which led to Alec Steele blacksmithing videos, which reminded me of all of the fantasy books I read as a kid and how I always thought it would be awesome to be a knight or general adventurer.
I’m mostly Germanic heritage, but some Scandinavian and British. So, yeah - Viking sword.
Because I respect my wife’s opinion on this life we share, I totally didn’t tell her I was buying it. When it came in the mail, she had no idea what it was. Oh yea, I got a Viking helmet too. Quals are coming up, and PPE is important.
Day after I got the giant chunk of sharpened spring steel, I took it to work and the range. There, I encountered some rogue weeds that had to be dealt with. They were dispatched with little effort. A cedar told me my sister was verily overly rotund. I cannot abide such behavior in juvenile cedars. I smited him (smote)?
Every dude at work thought this was the most brilliant purchase of my life and wanted similar items. Every female rolled their eyes at me. This behavior is in no way unusual.
When I got home, I saw that a cantaloupe and small watermelon had invaded my kitchen, and refused to yield their newly claimed homestead. I was able to wrestle them to the back yard, where I decapitated each in one smooth blow from my sword.
My wife yelled at me something about ruining her fruit - having no clue that I might have saved our very lives. Wenches just don’t get my heroics. I shall commission a medal for my valor.
But seriously, the thing is cool. I already want another one. Arming Sword or Gross Messer - cant decide. I will find a way to carry one at work during qualifications. I just need some chain mail.
Did I mention I’m a dork as well as an idiot?